The legal definitions of stalking differ all over the world. If you are living somewhere which has a stalking law, you are one of the lucky ones because some countries don't recognise stalking as a crime. As this page is international, we can't give a one size fits all definition of a stalking law, but we can tell you it is a pattern of behaviours which is fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated - F.O.U.R.
Perhaps because of the variations in legal definition, perhaps because stalking laws are relatively "new", perhaps because victim-survivors are silenced due to fear of retribution or shame, the crime of stalking is very much misunderstood and often minimised. Stalking can happen to anyone, male, female, young, old, rich, poor, a celebrity or Joe Bloggs. Research has shown as many as 1 in 6 women and 1 in 12 men will experience stalking in their lifetimes.
Typical stalking behaviours include following, loitering, drive-bys, tracking, monitoring, unwanted texts and calls, unwanted visits, unwanted gifts, hacking, pretending to be someone else, recording, smear campaigns and involving flying monkeys. Staking can happen before, during or after a relationship and is often a tactic of the coercive controller. You can be stalked by a neighbour, a colleague, a family member or a stranger.
There are several recognised stalker typologies, namely the resentful stalker, the incompetent suitor stalker, the predatory stalker, the intimacy seeking stalker and the rejected stalker. The majority of stalkers have mental health issues, most commonly narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. The majority are unable to deal with rejection and have relational attachment issues.
The impact on the victim-survivor is enormous and much underestimated by those around the victim and by the criminal justice system. Many victim-survivors are diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Injuries which can take years to recover from, if at all. The act of stalking features heavily in Prof. Jane Monkton-Smith's Homicide Timeline.
Our Instagram page started because we knew other people were suffering like us and we didn't want anyone else to feel as alone and isolated as we did. Founded by Lady J, a coercive control and stalking victim survivor for over 8 years, the Stop Your Stalker page has grown in popularity as a trusted and supportive source of information for fellow victim survivors. From being too afraid to leave the house to campaigning for victims rights, Lady J has grown a network of trusted and professional stalking and coercive control survivors to support you.
The people who support this page are all professionals in their private life with experience and qualifications. We are all certified trauma-informed practitioners. We are trained in law, education, cyber security and psychology. We are experienced in the dark and murky world of the stalker, from recognising the red flags to preparing for a prison release. If we don't know the answer to your question we will tell you, and help you find someone who does.
We don't ask the government for help pay our wages. The people involved in this project do it because they are passionate about helping others break free from the situation they have been in themselves. Our fees are kept low to pay for the hosting and maintenance of our website. And because we don't ask for money from the government, it means we can call it like it is.