What is Stalking?
It's fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated behaviours.
The legal definitions of stalking differ all over the world. If you are living somewhere which has a stalking law, you are one of the lucky ones because some countries don't recognise stalking as a crime. As this page is international, we can't give a one size fits all definition of a stalking law, but we can tell you it is a pattern of behaviours which is fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated - F.O.U.R.
Perhaps because of the variations in legal definition, perhaps because stalking laws are relatively "new", perhaps because victim-survivors are silenced due to fear of retribution or shame, the crime of stalking is very much misunderstood and often minimised. Stalking can happen to anyone, male, female, young, old, rich, poor, a celebrity or Joe Bloggs. Research has shown as many as 1 in 6 women and 1 in 12 men will experience stalking in their lifetimes.
Typical stalking behaviours include following, loitering, drive-bys, tracking, monitoring, unwanted texts and calls, unwanted visits, unwanted gifts, hacking, pretending to be someone else, recording, smear campaigns and involving flying monkeys. Staking can happen before, during or after a relationship and is often a tactic of the coercive controller. You can be stalked by a neighbour, a colleague, a family member or a stranger.
There are several recognised stalker typologies, namely the resentful stalker, the incompetent suitor stalker, the predatory stalker, the intimacy seeking stalker and the rejected stalker. The majority of stalkers have mental health issues, most commonly narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. The majority are unable to deal with rejection and have relational attachment issues.
The impact on the victim-survivor is enormous and much underestimated by those around the victim and by the criminal justice system. Many victim-survivors are diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Injuries which can take years to recover from, if at all. The act of stalking features heavily in Prof. Jane Monkton-Smith's Homicide Timeline.
"I started this page so that no other stalking victim feels alone and isolated. So they know what they are experiencing is normal under these extraordinary circumstances, and so victim-survivors can regain some control over their lives again."
Lady J